Men In Relationships

Ep.65 Fear Doesn't Go Away, We Become More Brave

In this week's episode, we talk about how fear will never fully be removed from our life. Once we can accept this we can learn how to become brave, in order to face the inevitable fear that will confront us when trying to level up in life. 

I will meticulously break down the 10 tips/strategies that have helped me become more courageous and brave throughout my journey.

1)Be willing to fail

2)Excitement is a very similar emotion to fear. Most people have very similar physiological responses to both emotions. Fear will be much less intimidating once we can wrap our minds around this.

3)Find role models or mentors who have walked the path you are wanting to walk.

4)Challenge and embrace discomfort

5)Be able to envision yourself on the other side of your fear

6)Implementing daily affirmations and self-talk that will help 

7)Experiment with and implement relaxation techniques

8)Personal development- equip yourself with a better mindset and tools to tackle fear

9)Exercise your courage muscle

10)Have awareness of how fear is currently impacting our life so we can manage our fear triggers 

 

This episode is filled with practical advice and tips, that if implemented will help you to surrender your average life.

Enjoy!:)

Ep.64 Pt.2- Life Lessons From Real Estate Investing

I spent many years looking for the easiest way to achieve financial freedom. At that time, I thought there was a way to reach this without hardship or struggle. Once I realized this was wishful thinking, I decided to pursue real estate investing. Over the past few years, that decision has taught us several life lessons.

In this week’s episode, I share these lessons. You don’t need to be involved in real estate for these insights to benefit your life. My hope in sharing these stories with you is to provide you with the insights that we learned at the beginning of our journey so that you can avoid some of the hardships in your own journey.

It’s always beneficial to learn from other people's lessons, but I strongly believe that you won’t learn the lessons YOU need to learn until you take action for yourself. Don’t let the fear of the unknown or potential struggles stop you from pursuing your desires. They are a necessary part of the process! 

 

I hope you enjoy,

Joel

Ep. 63 Pt.1- Our Real Estate Journey

In today's episode we go in a different direction.

Part of my journey to surrendering my average life is to become financially free. Jess and I chose to pursue real estate investing to help us create long term wealth. In this episode I talk about why we chose real estate, our strategy, and some of the struggles that came along with that decision.

Part 2 will be released next week where I will discuss all the life lessons we've learnt through real estate investing. 

 

Enjoy! 

Joel:)

Ep.62 Men In Relationships- Being Less Selfish

I believe most people are good at their core. If someone has developed selfish tendencies it might due to the fact they’ve developed bad selfish habits over the years. That doesn’t make someone a bad person, it simply means they have some work to do to get back on track. This is what happened to me, as I was single for many years and only really had to consider my own needs and desires. Entering a relationship I was faced with the challenge of being less selfish, and more altruistic. This was not an easy task, but I explain how I began to work on this, and break down this topic in-depth in the latest episode of Surrendering Average.

Here are a few other items covered in the episode:

       - Discuss the times a partner might have to be selfish.

       - Signs to help you see if you are a selfish partner.

       - Discuss studies done on selfish tendencies in relationships.

       - Why we should change our selfish behaviors.

       - The benefits of being altruistic.

       - How to be less selfish.

As I always mention, I am not a perfect man. I still struggle with being selfish at times. This is something I continually work on. Perfection will never be achieved, but I believe it is our responsibility to continually work on ourselves and our relationship if we want to make it last.

The most rewarding things in life are not always easy, my relationship with Jess is not always easy but it is certainly rewarding. I hope you’ve enjoyed the mini-series on relationships!

 

Joel:)

Ep. 61 Men In Relationships- Balancing Masculine And Feminine Energy

We are surrounded by opposites in life. Good and bad, happy and sad, hot and cold, night and day. We only experience one because its counterpart exists. You wouldn’t know how good it feels when you are happy if you never experienced feeling sad.

We also embody two main types of energies that seem to oppose one another. The masculine and feminine energy. 

It’s common to think that men should embody masculine energy and that women should express feminine energy. Although there are many benefits that accompany this belief, for anything to be harmonious there needs to be a balance.

I was someone who grew up believing I should only show my masculine qualities. As a kid growing up I observed the media and all of the male figures in my life. I absorbed what I saw and built my perception of what it meant to be a man. I thought I should only portray confidence, focus, pride, power, firmness, strength, reason, logic, and action (all ‘masculine’ traits). Again, these are very useful traits, but I had absolutely no balance. Unfortunately, when we don’t balance our energies they can become wounded. This can lead to unhealthy actions of overcompensation. In my case, I would become over-controlling, more aggressive, be unsupportive, or competitive to avoid showing my more feminine qualities. 

Over the past few years, I had to redefine what it means to be a man (for my unique life experience). This involved learning how to put my masculine shield down and re-training my subconscious mind to not always react in an overcompensating masculine manner. 

If it’s time for a change, you might just have to redefine what it means to be a man (or woman) in your life. This might involve balancing your masculine and feminine qualities/energy. That to me is taking ownership and responsibility to seek harmony. And that is something powerful and inspiring for any gender. 

 

I hope you enjoy this episode!

Joel:)

Ep.60 Men In A Relationship- Sharing A Life Vision

A relationship comprises two different individuals who had different upbringings. There will most likely be a difference of opinion and both people might perceive life slightly differently. 

I like to remind myself that a relationship does not complete you, rather there are two complete individuals sharing a bond. It’s extremely important to maintain your individuality- but also collaborate to share a life vision (the direction you both want to go). If this vision doesn’t get discussed there will certainly be turbulence. Otherwise, you will be wondering why you aren’t getting what you want as an individual, and as a couple…. If you don’t envision the life you want, you are leaving your life/relationship up to chance.

I’m a very driven individual, who likes to spend time progressing towards my fitness, finance, adventure, and personal development goals. I also discovered that I really enjoy time alone, where I can look introspectively to ensure I am living congruent to my internal deep desires and needs. For me, maintaining my individuality is extremely important, and I frequently desire time to focus on all of these aspects. It is also important that I don’t spend ALL of my time on my individual desires (this is a problem I still struggle with). It is equally important to align the other parts of my life to the life vision Jess and I share. We are very clear on what is important in our relationship and to each of us as individuals. We work at living within the parameters of this vision in the current moment while still taking action to bring us closer to our shared goals and vision of our future. 

If you want to level up your relationship and want to work at becoming a power couple then this episode is a must-listen. You’ll learn how to set goals and create a life vision, that embodies each other’s individuality as well as a collaborative effort to manifest the life of your dreams. (Side note, Jess and I are nowhere near perfect. That being said, these strategies as well as what I discuss in episodes about relationships drastically help me to be a better man and partner).

 

I hope you enjoy this episode!

Joel:)

Ep.59 Men In Relationships- Cultivating Trust Within Yourself And With Your Partner

Cultivating Trust within yourself and with your partner. 

What transpired in the past, frequently affects trust in a relationship. That might mean a past circumstance or experience left an imprint in your mind, affecting your perception of how you view your current partner. Or it might be the lack of communication that is necessary to uncover what happened to your partner in the past. Whatever it is, one thing is certain. There needs to be a deep level of trust for a relationship to thrive.

This can be a complex topic, with a lot to unpack for each and every unique relationship. I try to unpack it the best way I can by using personal examples in the latest episode of the podcast.

Here are a couple of the topics discussed in this episode:

-Before we can trust our partner, we should fully trust ourselves.

-Understand that the past does not equal the future.

-We will probably need to undergo some self-work to have a conscious awareness of what happened to you in the past, and how it might be affecting your current relationship.

-Have courageous conversations that might be difficult, but are necessary to understand your partner’s perception.

-Be able to communicate with empathy rather than judgment.

-Lead with vulnerability.

-6 tips to cultivate trust in your relationship

I am proud to say that Jess and I have a very deep level of trust in our relationship. Although this did not come without a cost. There were many difficult conversations, and it was a journey and process to get to the level we are at today. I share all of my insights in this week’s show. 

 

Enjoy:)

 

Joel

Ep.58 Men In Relationships- Exploring And Articulating Emotions

This episode is part 1 of a mini-series about men in relationships. 

I found that I was living with a distorted vision of what it meant to be a man. Particularly in a romantic relationship. In the 5-episode mini-series, I vulnerably share my process of how I changed my perception of what it meant to be a man in a relationship. 

Jess and I are thriving in comparison to how we started our journey together. We are not perfect by any means, and we continually work very hard to improve and grow together every single day. Although it can be extremely challenging some days, we are both committed to bringing our dreams to life. A major part of our dream is to have an incredible relationship. The next 5 episodes cover my journey to resolving some of my deeper issues that were getting in the way of a great relationship.

The first episode of the mini-series is about men exploring and articulating their emotions. This was a huge barrier in our relationship and something I had to (and still) work very hard to improve on. In this episode, I will explain why men should open up emotionally and I offer my 7 tips to help men explore, express, and articulate their emotions.

If you are a man in a relationship, a single man looking to get into a relationship, or a woman who wants to gain more insight on this topic, I promise this episode will provide some value.

 

Please enjoy!:)

Joel

Ep. 57 Foundation Alignment

Sometimes we all just need to check in with ourselves. Especially when setting big goals or a life vision. Our foundation is the base of our life. Essentially everything that is deeply important and necessary for us to live a fulfilled life. The ‘walls’ of our foundation are built  by the amalgamation of our values, beliefs, and morals. 

Last year I caught myself beginning to formulate a vision that didn’t quite align with my foundation. Thankfully I caught myself early enough in the process to avoid any serious damage. I believe it’s so important to continually check in with what is foundationally important to us. This can help us avoid spending unnecessary time and energy on something that isn’t a necessary part of our journey.

I hope my message can provide some sort of value in your life.

 

Enjoy:)

Ep. 56 State Change

In short, being able to change our mental state is what is necessary to break free from our undesirable auto programmed reactions and emotions. 

Learning to change our state can drastically improve our:

-Energy levels

-Regulating and controlling our emotions, especially when triggered. This includes anxiety and other states of mind that can affect our physiological state.

-The types of thoughts that populate our mind

-Our actions which will lead to progress or new results.

In this episode I cover some action steps, processes, hacks and practices to help experience a state change in the moment, as well as cultivating long term lasting effects to evolve your currently programmed mental state.

I use to experience many undesirable emotions that I believed were out of my control. Implementing these strategies has truly helped me and I hope they will serve you as well!

Please Enjoy:)

Joel